Musings

Here I Hold

My daughter and her grandfather (2001)

I look at my future, seeing my past as the light caresses her face;

I shutter at what she will endure, the hate and the cynicism, the lies and the deceit;

I cannot fathom what she will know or the depths of her fear;

Right now I hold innocence and purity that trusts the hands that hold her;

She does not feel the pains that have coursed through the essence that embraces her;

She cannot interpret the coarseness of the hands as those possessed by a man who has worked hard all of his life;

She sees love in the eyes that behold her but does not know the indelible sights that have seared themselves just beyond the surface;

I do not desire to jade with my biases and blemish the pure slate that God has set before me;

Yet I know what lies before her and want to be sure she does not partake of the Kool-Aid;

Of course it is a metaphor, as is the fact that I am Superman;

I will shield her from all evils and prepare her for the unforeseeable;

I will never let harm come to her and will wipe away the stains left by hate and deceit;

I will strengthen her by giving her things I never had and share with her my lessons so that one day they will be hers;

I will hold her forever in my hands as I do now and never let her down, warding off all that seeks to blemish such a wonderful creation;

The strength to do these things pulses through my body and hands as I speak these words of resolve;

Yet reason sinks its talons into the very fabric of my being and penetrates these dreams with the pangs of reality;

Indeed this is my moment to hold her, lover her and protect her - so I shall; My grip will slowly weaken and her eyes will slowly open;

What then will she see I do not know; yet I hope that as she did this day she will feel my hands supporting her and my gaze loving her regardless of my grip and regardless of her sight.

S. McGill 2012

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