Recently, having been tasked by my wife to look at a video
my daughter posted on a social networking cite, I watched as my daughter
solicited acceptance from her online friends. My initial reaction when
addressing this with her was wrong; however, having started down the road of
ire and admonition, I realized it was too late to turn back. So I pressed on,
trying my best to explain to my daughter why this post was such a problem,
realizing as I did my message was getting lost in translation.
My daughter is a tween. She craves all of the accoutrements the
contemporary teenager has, cataloging all of the stuff she perceives will make
her cool. And though I want her to have some of those cool things, I am quickly
coming to realize the prerequisite for many of these items is maturity. The
insular nature of a generation long matured has been compromised. Our kids
today literally have the world at their fingertips. The internet has made the
planet exponentially smaller, inviting the maligned to our doorsteps and in our
homes.
The reality is our kids unwittingly expose themselves to
danger everyday on the Web. Inherently, if we aren’t vigilant and fail to
manage the activities of our children, they will rely on their own
interpretations and devices to navigate the world around them, including the
internet. The danger here is that our kids are analogous to mackerel in a sea
of swarming dolphins. Most swim with the pack, mimicking the behavior of the
one in front of them, believing their behavior, if consistent with the group,
is safe. But just as the fish swimming tight in a ball do not see the predator
rising from the depths, our kids move in their circles, never seeing the
vulpine assailant preparing to pounce.
As parents we need to know what our kids value. A
contemporary benchmark sought by our children today is the social networking Like
button. This barometer has become a vehicle of distortion for many children and
even some adults. Akin to my daughter, I am positive there are many children
using the web to gain acceptance and to a certain extent popularity. The
metrics to determine their success is the total number of
likes, with the goal being to post something on the Web that gets widely
accepted as cool. Those enticed to accept this challenge, however, often do not
comprehend the potential dangers spawned by their actions. Ostensibly the actor
is compelled to try harder, following each failed attempt with more
ostentatious iterations, usually culminating in embarrassing and sometimes disastrous outcomes.
Clearly society in general has been sucked into the
spectacle called the internet. Adults have proven just as impressionable and
gullible as children, constantly upping the stakes, engaging in more ridiculous
behavior every day to gain fame and notoriety. Imagine, then, how our children
are interpreting this inane behavior. They too want to be recognized, and they
understand that to reach this goal they have to impress. Selfies and monologues
are not arcane, they are products of kids seeking
acceptance, wanting the world to like who they are and what they are. The
problem with this is that they do not understand that evil can like
something too, though for different more sinister reasons.
Our job as parents is very different than that of a
generation ago. Our children are exposed on every side. We must take preemptive
actions to ensure that our children are proud of who they are, wanting respect
more than needing acceptance. Reaffirm in your children every day that they are
beautiful, important and strong. Teach them to find self-worth and value in
their accomplishments. Build them up by admonishing them when they are wrong
and celebrating them when they are successful. Most importantly, teach them the
most important like they get is from themselves, not a button.
