Why I Don't Like Like

Recently, having been tasked by my wife to look at a video my daughter posted on a social networking cite, I watched as my daughter solicited acceptance from her online friends. My initial reaction when addressing this with her was wrong; however, having started down the road of ire and admonition, I realized it was too late to turn back. So I pressed on, trying my best to explain to my daughter why this post was such a problem, realizing as I did my message was getting lost in translation.

My daughter is a tween. She craves all of the accoutrements the contemporary teenager has, cataloging all of the stuff she perceives will make her cool. And though I want her to have some of those cool things, I am quickly coming to realize the prerequisite for many of these items is maturity. The insular nature of a generation long matured has been compromised. Our kids today literally have the world at their fingertips. The internet has made the planet exponentially smaller, inviting the maligned to our doorsteps and in our homes.

The reality is our kids unwittingly expose themselves to danger everyday on the Web. Inherently, if we aren’t vigilant and fail to manage the activities of our children, they will rely on their own interpretations and devices to navigate the world around them, including the internet. The danger here is that our kids are analogous to mackerel in a sea of swarming dolphins. Most swim with the pack, mimicking the behavior of the one in front of them, believing their behavior, if consistent with the group, is safe. But just as the fish swimming tight in a ball do not see the predator rising from the depths, our kids move in their circles, never seeing the vulpine assailant preparing to pounce.

As parents we need to know what our kids value. A contemporary benchmark sought by our children today is the social networking Like button. This barometer has become a vehicle of distortion for many children and even some adults. Akin to my daughter, I am positive there are many children using the web to gain acceptance and to a certain extent popularity. The metrics to determine their success is the total number of likes, with the goal being to post something on the Web that gets widely accepted as cool. Those enticed to accept this challenge, however, often do not comprehend the potential dangers spawned by their actions. Ostensibly the actor is compelled to try harder, following each failed attempt with more ostentatious iterations, usually culminating in embarrassing and sometimes disastrous outcomes.   

Clearly society in general has been sucked into the spectacle called the internet. Adults have proven just as impressionable and gullible as children, constantly upping the stakes, engaging in more ridiculous behavior every day to gain fame and notoriety. Imagine, then, how our children are interpreting this inane behavior. They too want to be recognized, and they understand that to reach this goal they have to impress. Selfies and monologues are not arcane, they are products of kids seeking acceptance, wanting the world to like who they are and what they are. The problem with this is that they do not understand that evil can like something too, though for different more sinister reasons.

Our job as parents is very different than that of a generation ago. Our children are exposed on every side. We must take preemptive actions to ensure that our children are proud of who they are, wanting respect more than needing acceptance. Reaffirm in your children every day that they are beautiful, important and strong. Teach them to find self-worth and value in their accomplishments. Build them up by admonishing them when they are wrong and celebrating them when they are successful. Most importantly, teach them the most important like they get is from themselves, not a button. 

Painting the Pinto

Painting a Pinto does not change the fact that it is a Pinto!

I doubt that I am the first to say this, and dare not profess that the profundity of this pithy is an original. I do say, however, that the effects of this practice – painting the Pinto that is -- on business can be devastating if applied as a rule of thumb.

Hear me folks! I am speaking from experience here.

It is egregious when leadership of an organization consistently ignores the pink elephants in their organization, choosing instead to use haphazard management techniques that in no way resemble qualified management models. This incompetent, lackadaisical approach to management is further exacerbated when leadership invokes policy and procedure when it suits them, eschewing these articles of guidance at all other times. Leadership and management cannot be intermittent in their execution, showing up only when those who are charged to execute the inherent duties of such entrusted positions are exposed and vulnerable; more specifically, leadership that looks for culpability in every other nook and cranny in their organization, accepting none of the responsibility or accountability themselves, is guilty of what is tantamount to criminal negligence in the fiduciary duties charged to them.

Shameful!

A work environment that employs leadership that is guilty of poor work ethics, contextual incompetence, and apathetic, cowardly management is toxic. Further, an organization that takes an autocratic approach to decision making, choosing to continually thumb their noses at the staff by blatantly taking actions that are incongruent with professionalism, ethics and decorum is malignant in every aspect. To abrogate those tenets of business that ensure decisions are equitable and prudent when it is convenient to those charged with making decisions is reprehensible. Nepotism and cronyism are despicable at any level; yet when practiced by those at the upper echelons of leadership, the caustic effect it has on an organization is prolific, devastating.

There are many organizations today that are afflicted with such inept leadership. And for those organizations that are and have been mired in such incompetence for a protracted period, such systemic failure is likely perpetuated by similar actions and philosophies practiced and held by higher governing authorities. Logically, if an organization has a history of systemic failures for a prolonged period, where turnover in most levels of staffing is evident, these failures are an indictment of leadership -- not the staff. Shuffling the deck to solve staffing issues is inane. Moving a problem from one area to another and never having the courage to address and arrest incompetence and insolence is vexing and demoralizing to the good staff. And an organization that is managed this way is pregnant with an apoplectic, apathetic, despondent labor force, clawing at the doors to escape the debacle at any cost and by any means.

Unfortunately, it is evident in general conversations that there are many organizations abound who are stuck in the maelstrom of fractured leadership and management which continue to proliferate despite their failures – the Hydras of business if you will. Mediocrity begets mediocrity in these situations because poor leaders and managers promote others who assimilate to their asinine methods. This is a self-preservation mechanism used by pathetic leaders and managers to ensure they are not challenged at any level and, thus, perpetuates a disastrous carousel of incompetent, hapless leaders and managers, demoralizing the organization and the competent staff who actually take the time to care.

What is most disturbing in all of this is the fact that many of these leadership situations tend to have a long shelf life. That is, once entrenched leaders who fail to use integrity, equity, and due diligence are firmly seated they are able to proliferate their incompetence by surrounding themselves with an army of minions who choose to be complicit, reaping what benefits they can instead of relying on principles and standards that undermine the ineptness of such leadership, stripping the new coat of paint away exposing the Pinto for what it is.   

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

Anger: A Pyrrhic Victory

Anger is a conundrum, and acknowledging it and expressing it can be cathartic and at once euphoric. Yet harboring it and nurturing it can be catastrophic and debilitating.  Indeed there is a science to anger that could be a discipline all its own. It is one of the most explosive visceral emotions that we have, and its effects on us can erode many of the other emotions we feel and express. Learning to control anger is a critical step to finding peace, happiness, and contentment.

There are many facets and faces of anger. We all tend to deal with the emotion differently. Some of us choose to be verbose with our expression while others internalize the emotion and let it fester below the surface. Regardless how you deal with the emotion the thing we all must do is release it and move on. 

Walk with me for a second. I see anger as analogous to an experiment I saw recently on television. Scientist, studying the effects of high winds on a house, observed how the articulation of the front door affected the stability of a house during extreme winds. As the common orientation of the front door to swing in was tested and produced the known effect of built up pressure in the house with no escape; the house with a door that swung out (an unconventional model) saw the pressure relieved as the door gave way under the pressure building up inside, thus relieving the tension in the house, ostensibly saving the house from imploding – a common reaction of houses in high wind situations (hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.). The latter outcome increased the house’s survivability exponentially, avoiding the common damage experienced when the pressure is not relieved. Technical - meh! - you get the drift.

Though the human psyche is considerably more nuanced than a house, in principle the theories are the same. Holding onto anger – building your house with the door opening in – allows feelings of resentment and disdain to monopolize your emotions. The pressure becomes the leading factor in how you interact with your environment, resulting in the relinquishment of control – an implosion of feelings if you will. 

Being angry and maintaining anger causes physical distress as well as the compromised ability to make decisions and function. Evidence of this can be seen in every day examples. Fans of Boxing have often seen the consequences of a boxer that fights angry. In fact, there is a common caution in boxing not to do so. Driving angry is another common occurrence that has been known to end with devastating consequences. As well, typing an email or response when one is angry has also spelled disaster for the authors, resulting in regrettable words and statements that cannot be retracted.

Undoubtedly, I have been guilty of harboring anger and releasing it with vitriol and malicious intent to demonstrate my wrath, my fury. Yet to this day I cannot remember most if not all of those instances with clarity or relief. In fact, I have encountered friends or acquaintances after a period of time of being apart, separated by anger, where neither of us could remember what the dispute was about. Thus proving that what I believed to be a moment where I acquitted myself quite well by articulating and executing the profundity of my anger, little impact was made on me or the intended recipient.

The grace of this is that the psyche and the soul – the Id for those who remember Psyche 101 – grasp intrinsically that what we have consciously deemed critical is actually a fleeting moment that has little impact on our tomorrow. Indeed there are events that by their outcomes hurt us and cause us to falter or regret, but they do not kill, nor should they deter. The ability to be resilient is inherent in all of us. And if we choose to embrace that power and eschew the pangs and impulses of anger, existentially we become freer, more empowered.

My offer to you is this: Understand that when you are angry at someone or something they/it control you. When you encounter them your demeanor changes and your life becomes dark and hostile. Instead, move on from the anger. Release it. Accept that which has been done and that that moment in life has passed. There is so much more to enjoy and embrace. The truth is anger is malignant. It robs you of your ability to relax and enjoy. The cure is to release it. Think of it this way: For every carryon of anger you bring on the plane of life you have to pay a hefty price. So, just as you check your bags at the gate and get on the plane unencumbered so as not to carry the burden; check your anger at the gate and enjoy the flight of life unencumbered with a oppressive carryon that cost more to lug than it does to leave.

Live HAPPY! Enjoy! 

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

Where are They Now?

That’s the question I have for the purported leaders of the Black community. Where are they now? In the past week two innocent white people have been slaughtered at the hands of black teens. These crimes were heinous and senseless (See link to stories at the end). The disgust and disdain that should be oozing from every pore of the black community is noticeably absent – at least in my interpretation.

I have been and continue to be a staunch advocate for fair and equal treatment of all. Obviously I have an affinity for injustices suffered by blacks and other minorities, yet I refuse to be a hypocrite and diminish an act because of the skin color of the perpetrator or that of the victim as that would make me a bigot, and I refuse to be that which I abhor.

What bothers me the most about these two slayings is the palpable absence of the likes of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and the peanut gallery. If you purport yourself to be a leader it is incumbent upon you to be present for the bad just as you are in the good. It is disingenuous to come out and protest a decision or act you believe is unfair when the “victim” is black but choose to stand idly by and watch when those you claim to defend are the perpetrators. As a member of the community you supposedly defend, I find these actions despicable and unacceptable of anyone who claims to stand as a representative of me or my family.

LZ Granderson, a contributing journalist for CNN, said it best in his blog regarding the parents of such degenerates [http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/22/opinion/granderson-criminal-kids-responsibility/index.html?iref=allsearch]. No more words need to be said, Mr. Granderson did a masterful job here. However, I think it important that those self-aggrandizing men who speak with such indignation when a perceivable injustice befalls a member of the black community stand up and denounce the miscreants who executed these senseless acts of violence for reasons as simple as being bored. Clearly the parents don’t care. They have released their children on society like a vile plague, willingly allowing their progeny to terrorize their communities and society as a whole. Shame on them and shame on the faux leaders who jockey to get a political edge at every sign of injustice for not admonishing these parents for gross negligence, egregious incompetence, and criminal endangerment.

I will not apologize for saying that I believe that parents should be held accountable for their kids until the child is societally deemed to be an adult. To paraphrase Granderson, if my child breaks a neighbors window I have to pay for it, so why is not the same rule applied to acts in the community that are equal to or greater than the broken window? If the parent being the responsible party decides they no longer can or want to provide guidance, discipline, and tough-love for the offspring they should not be exonerated from these duties simply by turning their back and throwing up their hands. They should and must be held accountable.

The leaders of the community must abide by the same rules they expect others to acknowledge and obey. If you ask society to acknowledge that failings in the past directly contribute to the conditions of today and, therefore, those folks who nurtured those failings are to be held accountable if not to repair at least to provide restitution in the form of assistance and guidance now. The same is true at the individual level as it is at the larger level.  It is unconscionable to think that those who have nominated themselves to be leaders of the black community only use acts of injustice towards blacks as a platform for their political gain, yet it is not inconceivable and, to that point, implausible.

I am appalled that on the 50^th anniversary of the March on Washington more was not done to condemn the acts of these black teenagers. Their actions tear at the very fabric of trust and understanding that we need to be an America of one. I am ashamed that so many in my community stand silent in the shadows and avert their gaze when such malicious acts are perpetrated by their own, especially those who call themselves leaders. And for those parents and community leaders who relish the opportunity to grab the mic and cry foul and play the victim when it is convenient or advantageous, I openly and vehemently voice my condemnation for your apathy, insolence, and self-righteous pity. But most of all I abhor you for your lack of courage to stand up and be counted as one who speaks out against injustice no matter the color, media coverage, time of day, or locale it occurs. Your actions speak volumes of your character and affirm who and what you stand for. So please, in the future do me and those in the black community who share my sentiment a favor, stop the charade and save your buffoonery for those gullible enough to fall for your empty rhetoric and high-stepping chicanery.

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2013/08/23/wwii-vet-88-beaten-to-death-by-teens/?iref=allsearch

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/21/justice/australia-student-killed-oklahoma/index.html?iref=allsearch

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

Reality or Minstrel Show

"Reality", today, has ostensibly gained a putrid connotation in our society – or perhaps only in my world. Personally, I equate the word with buffoonery and liken it to a modern-day minstrel show.  The public in general can't seem to get enough of people who are willing to eschew dignity and self-respect for the almighty dollar or their fifteen minutes of fame. Reality is the golden calf that entices its victims with a forked tongue and the tepid promise of fame – notice I did not say fortune...at least not for all.

I am vexed at how we patronize people for being boisterous, inarticulate, disheveled, and self-debasing – at least in their appearance and presentation.   What makes me even more apoplectic is the fact that the folks, who themselves are being paraded around the Internet and other media outlets, seem to relish the exposure, further exacerbating the inane image being portrayed of them.

Moreover, this malignant behavior seems to cross race, ethnic, and cultural barriers, finding fertile ground across the entire genre of humanity. Shows proliferate, showing people doing anything to get attention, elicit a laugh, or evoke a cringe. People eating the afterbirth from a newborn calf in the field in which it was born, to people allowing cameras to enter their homes and film their most intimate moments populate almost every broadcast channel.

Perhaps I can understand why some people allow cameras to follow them while they and their families say and do some of the most ridiculous things they can think of to elicit a response and appease the hordes of gawking fans that watch and relish in the audacious exhibition of self humiliation and, at times, depravity. Yet I bristle at the common practice of the News to seek out interview candidates that offer the best chance of getting Stepin Fetchit shenanigans.  This, seemingly regardless where the event has taken place – it’s almost as if they have a van full of buffoonish characters they can pull on demand when they need an Antoine Dodson or Charles Ramsey – almost! And though we laugh at these spectacles, I contend that this type of exploitation isn’t funny and perpetuates some of the long-held stereotypes some of us have fought to dispel with hard work and intellect.

I cannot fathom what people get out of the idiocy that seems to plague every facet of media with “reality” being the bait dangled from the proverbial hook. If it were that we were just a voyeuristic society who felt compelled to see, I would think the novelty of such reaction would have worn off by now. Unfortunately, what once could have been called novel is now a mainstay and, moreover, a commodity that seems to have a perpetual shelf life.

Who would have thought that stupid could be so profitable – boy was my momma wrong.

The danger in all of this is the message that is sent to those most impressionable by what they see: our kids. When they watch arguably mature people making fools of themselves with blatant disregard to decorum and personal dignity, the attention given to these characters makes a mockery of the principles and tenets many of us try so hard to instill in them. As a society we fail to understand the implications of our actions, choosing to ogle and support the ridiculous, giving rise to more iterations of the senseless every day.   

I know that I sound old and surly, admonishing society for failing to see the precariousness of their indulgences. Yet somehow when I see how ubiquitous the examples of imprudence and waning self-respect have perforated our lives through media, I feel compelled to sound the horn. Sure, some – in fact many – may condemn my words as an overreaction to a simple pleasure or innocuous form of entertainment that causes us to chuckle, click like, or share. But I see it as a malignancy that has the potential to cause harm if not recognized for what it is, and given its place in society – and dare I say homes -- as an exception and not the rule it is quickly becoming.

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

Dangerous Language

Conjecture and hyperbole can be dangerous, especially when wielded by overzealous drum majors. To use anecdotal evidence to prove a point is foolhardy, flimsy, and inflammatory. No one should ever endeavor to make a point or open a dialogue, especially one that is historically contentious and predicated on subjugation and inequality, with contrived notions only backed by a singular account. To begin a real conversation about a prickly issue, one must first demonstrate that they recognize and understand the issue from the opposing side. Then and only then can one reasonably assert their intent to engage a discussion as genuine and constructive. Because, conversely, if one only adduces his or her perception as qualified evidence to support their position, that position can be construed as subjective and prejudice based solely on a myopic view…and rightfully so.

The recent article in the Philly Magazine “Being White in Philly” (see link at the end) is a literal example of such a flawed attempt at provoking discourse. The fact that the author (Robert Huber) fails to acknowledge there is another side to the narrative he is giving, and that now his words are being widely perceived as being destructive as opposed to constructive by most, is unequivocal proof. Presumably Mr. Huber does not possess the requisite knowledge or experience and therefore cannot speak to the realities of the other side. Yet this ignorance did not inhibit him from serving up tacit information with a tone that teeters precariously close to the line of prejudice… if not actually crossing it. In no way do I paint Mr. Huber as a racist; in fact I think there is some credibility in some of what he is saying. Also, I cannot emphatically say his motive was disingenuous and therefore must take him for his word that he wanted to start a discussion. But generalizations and indignation cannot characterize the opening monologue to any legitimate conversation as evident in the vitriolic reactions to the now infamous editorial.

To be dismissive of the enormity of the inextricable inequities of the past is vexing.  Though Mr. Huber may not agree that America’s history has any bearing on the state of Black America today, and seemingly cannot comprehend or articulate the impact and breadth of said history, he should preface his words by first acknowledging his ignorance. For it is far easier to run the race and project yourself the winner from the grandstand, than it is to actually compete in the race and win. 

If Huber was really interested in starting a reciprocal conversation, one that acknowledges historically egregious acts of murder, rape, oppression, overt hate and callous disrespect, perhaps introspection would have been a better introduction. Yet, when he exhibits the propensity to only explore the portions of history that supports his argument, the truths and indelible marks of the eschewed history lingers like a noose around the argument he asserts, slowly cinching, reducing the argument to a speck of inconsequential rhetoric on the fabric of dialogue.  

In my opinion the time for apologies is over. I am not asking for handouts or empathy for me or anyone in the black community. Though there are still inequities, there is opportunity too. Yet I don’t believe that tolerance is too much to ask for from those pitching stones from the perimeter. Many black people are just as confounded as white people when analyzing the trajectory of some in the community. In fact, there are countless books divergent in their theories about the causations that seem to foster crime, indolence, apathy and poverty throughout some black communities. And though the myriad books that attempt to explain or defend the condition of the black community by black people themselves are scholarly and fact laden, I surmise that black cultural harmony on this subject is just as elusive as if such a preponderance of research and literature on the black condition had never been written. 

I suppose though that Huber never considered the world outside of his insular, righteously indignant, safe place, eschewing the need for facts or understanding when writing his piece. And though free speech is a right of every American citizen, and any American can deliver a sermon on any topic he or she so chooses, one should take pause before he or she puts pen to paper and consider that the inclusion of facts in any diatribe is prudent and paramount when proselytizing. Ostensibly, imploring people to free themselves of perceived shackles bound by shame and guilt, using hyperbole and conjecture rooted in intrinsic fear and generalized intolerance is dangerous and provocative. Unfortunately, the ill-conceived article was vetted by an editor who was just as oblivious to the jaded rhetoric of the piece, purporting and defending the article as an appropriate catalyst for “The Conversation” – which, after all, is a dubious and ill-informed position given that this was not the first attempt at starting the conversation, nor was it the most intelligent. 

http://www.phillymag.com/articles/white-philly/

Peace

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

A Life Worth Saving

I hate that I need to preface this blog with the following disclaimer; however, first impressions can sometimes cloud the intent of the message. With that, I want to start with the statement that God is tremendous. There, now that I have shared that cathartic moment, let me explain.

Last night I finished a blog post that I have yet to post. Though the post articulates the point to my satisfaction, it is the theme and tone of the blog that I am struggling with. It has not escaped me that many of my posts are predicated on serious or contentious issues. And the reality is that these are the stories that resonate most with me and inspire me to comment. But there is a negative energy that comes from this type of writing, one which can be taxing to the spirit. So, after I finished the blog posts, I sat in my chair and stared at the computer screen for a few minutes. I found myself in an internal struggle, one side pushing me to post the entry and the other feeling somewhat reluctant.

Once again I had been compelled to address a contentious issue that I felt had an impact on me and the community around me. I was filled with a frenetic energy and needed to comment on an article I read titled “Being White in Philly”. The article elicited a visceral response, as many of them do, resulting in the confluence of the exact words and tone needed to dispel the energy pulsating inside. As I edited my effort, meticulously trying to ensure I got my point across, I could slowly feel myself return to a state homeostasis. And it was at the point that I was able to sit back and contemplate what I had written and realize I felt devoid of satisfaction. My spirit was unfulfilled, drained by the expulsion of emotions and words needed to assuage my desire to challenge a perceived inequity. And that is when I asked God in a simple prayer to show me something good. I asked him to show me how good humanity is and can be. I wanted to celebrate something and praise it for reaffirming the inherent goodness of mankind. I needed some positive energy to recharge my spirit and give me the opportunity to exhale.

And then…

The morning dawned and the moment I craved was nearly missed. It was right in front of me and I glazed over it, only half consciously viewing the story. I was perusing the news, looking at all of the stories of war torn nations, political vitriol, and other moral turpitude littering the national news Web site. Out of curiosity I clicked on a promoted video about a child choking. I watched the video and then allowed the video player to move to the next selection. It wasn’t until I clicked to exit the news site and start something else that I fully realized what I had just seen.

The video lacked audio, yet the humanity and compassion were palpable. In the brief moments the video played the inherent goodness of mankind was affirmed. In a time of crisis people worked together for the common good and well-being of another. What was even more remarkable was the diversity of the partners. There were black people, as well as white people. There were people seemingly in good physical shape, while others would likely be labeled obese. There were women and there were men. But most importantly there was a child, a child in distress.

The mother, presumably in a state of panic, brings her unresponsive daughter to the checkout section of a grocery store purportedly asking for help. The response from the other patrons was immediate and decisive. There were no questions of race, gender, ability, or socioeconomic status. No one cared what the child was wearing, or not wearing for that matter. And no one seemed to care who helped the child as long as someone did. The result was a community coming together to save a life…not a black child, white child, fat child; not a skinny child, gay child or a straight child...just THE child in danger -- as it should be!

I am not disillusioned by this video to believe that all is right with the world. I am energized though, knowing that we as a species can still come to the rescue and can still be good. I am sure I will be right back at the keyboard tomorrow firing off a commentary about one thing or another that has ruffled my feathers. But today I can lean back in my chair, close my eyes, smile, and exhale; taking comfort in the fact that it ain’t all bad!

Watch the video and smile with me:

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c2#/video/world/2013/03/21/pkg-australia-baby-supermarket-rescue.seven-network

Peace  

S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?

A Thought for the New Year

The term success is often tethered to financial status, material belongings, and status in the social hierarchy. Many of us have bought into the notion that our achievement of success is predicated on the amount of money we have, the type of house we live in, the type of car we drive, the type of clothes we wear, etc. I, however, challenge this notion, choosing instead to define my success by my personal satisfaction with my efforts in moments and the imprint of my being on the world around me.

Man has created many golden calves for us to chase and covet. And we have allowed ourselves to be conditioned to believe that we need these contrived treasures to be happy, to be successful. Yet, as many of us realize after succumbing to the lure of status, these items are merely bastions of deceit, failing to deliver on the promise of happiness. In fact, many of these temptations are the genesis of our deepest depressions and our most visceral guilt, especially once we realize their pyrrhic value.

The intrinsic struggle that many of us endure is not unique. Although we know as has been taught to us in the ageless pithy – money can’t buy happiness; we continue to meander down the road of monetary promise in the hopes of catching lightning in a bottle, seeking unmitigated happiness and lauded success. We forgo prudent decisions, exchanging them for frivolous even perilous expenses that stretch our financial capacity to its limits and beyond. What’s more, the stress and burden caused by such fiscal insolence and frivolity precipitates a ripple throughout the rest of our lives, morphing seemingly innocuous events into the extraordinary.

The challenge is to break the cycle. We must become creatures of necessity and humility, liberating ourselves from the maligned whispers of the frivolous and ostentatious, focusing instead on enriching our lives and the lives of those around us. Though we know intrinsically the truth about material gain, we must constantly remind ourselves of their fleeting value, ancillary stipulations, and the plethora of caveats that come with them. Cars, houses, shoes, jackets, phones, etc. are in constant threat from an embarrassment of assailants both premeditated and spontaneous.  They are no more possessed by us than the sun and the moon. Pride, respect, dignity, love, passion, conviction, faith, etc. these things, however, can’t be taken from us, ever. They are our foundation, an integral part of us; the fundamental ingredients of our essence. This is where our wealth resides and, inherently, our happiness and success.

The moments that mean the most to us are not predicated on or defined by money. There is no greater sense of success or happiness when a child is brought into this world; or later, such as the cascade of triumph that envelopes us when running behind a bike, letting go of the seat, watching as they inch ever closer to independence.  Or, the depths of despair we feel when separated during a tragedy and the ascension of wholeness we experience when reunited. These moments are the fabric of our lives. They are inextricable from us, each a discernible epoch in the constitution of us.

Therefore, we have the obligation to be indignant in our efforts to fortify our intrinsic values. We must hone our convictions and be proud of the individuals we are. Give credence to those things that are true and make an honest effort to embrace and imbue them. However, we cannot shrink in the eyes of perception or succumb to the notion that we are less than because of the measure of material or the perception of man.  We must be strong in and proud of whom we are. Seek opportunities to share with others and always be open to receiving. Be resolute in the fact that our constitution is our wealth, and cognizant that success is an amalgam of myriad moments where our integrity remained unblemished, serving to preserve our indelible mark on a world defined by just that – moments.


S. McGill

One of the most powerful things in the world can be obtained and used liberally by anyone who chooses to use it.  "If" can be the beginning of something great or the acquiescence to defeat. How will you use your "if"?